these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
