No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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