Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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