I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
