So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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