Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
