guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
