omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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