yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
