Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
