I'm jealous of your bromance
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize