you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
