She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
