Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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