Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
