96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
