You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
