your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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