I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
