I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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