What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
