hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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