honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
