she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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