She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
