i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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