In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
