My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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