On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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