btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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