dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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