fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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