is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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