if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can I color on your dick again?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
