he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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