I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
