He is an equal opportunity slut.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize