so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
