I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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