Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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