I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
