And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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