I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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