ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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