Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
