Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just high enough for therapy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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