gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
