I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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