what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
