he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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