Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
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sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
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I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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