yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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