What a fucking waste of an outfit
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
