If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
