is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
