she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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