so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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